By Shannon Adams: For Complete Post, Click Here…
I have always prided myself on my resilience. I have been through awful hospital stays, invasive tests, disease flare ups, medication changes and more, yet I have always bounced back. I was one of those people who couldn’t be broken. That all changed after my latest hospital stay for E. coli. I don’t know why, but that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
After coming home from the hospital, I began having panic attacks and crying all the time. I felt like I couldn’t find my way back to myself. Any slight twinge of nausea (which tends to happen pretty often when you have Crohn’s Disease and gastroparesis) would send me into panic. Worst of all, I felt like I wasn’t there for my daughter. My smart, beautiful, loving daughter needed her mom and I could barely get through a day without having panic attacks. I thought the support of my family and friends would get me through like it always had before, but this time it wasn’t enough. This time was different.
I could see how hard it was for my husband when I shut him out, but I couldn’t find a way to let him back in. He wanted to help me, but I didn’t know how to accept his help. Eventually, he found a therapist for me and asked me to try it out. I was convinced they wouldn’t be able to help me, but I tried it anyway. I told myself that I could go at least one time for him. It turns out, the hype is all true. Therapy can be incredibly helpful if you find the right therapist.
Mostly I just cried for the first several sessions, but then I noticed something. I saw a glimpse of the old me. At first, I would go for a few minutes without being consumed by panic. Then slowly it became hours, which turned into days.