By Heidi Fischer: For Complete Post, Click Here…
There are certain familiar symptoms of depression we often hear about, such as sadness, oversleeping or isolation. There are other symptoms though, that aren’t as out in the open, and I struggle with one of them.
I have difficulty feeding myself adequately.
I struggle to get enough calories, nutrients and variety. While these may seem like the symptoms of an eating disorder, and certainly can mirror them, for me, it isn’t about body image or weight.
This struggle stems from the lack of motivation that I experience during depressive episodes. There will be times that I’m hungry, but lack the will to make a meal. Other times I can’t fathom the thought of going to the grocery store, or taking all the steps necessary to prepare a dish — so instead I eat fast food. This issue reaches far into my life, and can cause additional depression and shame due to unstable blood sugars and my perceived inability to properly care for myself.
I recently had an appointment with a nutritionist, with the goal of discussing this problem. I wanted to learn some tips on the types of healthy and convenient foods I could eat, that would help me get my daily requirements. If I’m being honest though, the appointment was not at all helpful, and I felt very dismissed. In the end she told me to eat my vegetables, and photocopied 10 various articles and worksheets on meal planning and how to make soup. I left feeling that she didn’t understand my fundamental complaint, that I lack the energy to prepare things that are beyond one or two steps. I can’t very well make a soup, if cutting carrots feels the same as climbing a mountain.
Unfortunately I’ve been left without a lot of answers, but it is an issue I continue to work on. I’ve discussed it in therapy, it’s on the radar of those around me and I do ask for help when needed. I want to be vocal about it, because I know I’m not the only person who lives with this symptom. It should be voiced so no one feels alone or ashamed.