By tea jones: For Complete Post, Click Here…
I’ll be the first to admit it, I used to be a pretty awful person.
There was a time in my life when I was between being naive and unaware. The (more) awakened person I am now can admit I was just an absolute wreck. I grew to be flaky, and couldn’t explain myself. I was mean to some people. I was trying to cover my tracks for things that weren’t entirely my fault. I was unmedicated and unaware of the damage I was causing. I rolled through peoples’ lives like a tornado. I was a mess, and because I couldn’t figure out what was going on in my own life, I made messes in other people’s lives. I didn’t mean to cause the damage I caused, but it was an unfortunate side effect of being me in a time I wasn’t my best self.
I’m ashamed. I don’t like who I was, but I had no idea I would cause as much damage. I hurt a lot of people I loved, and ruined a lot of (would have been) solid friendships. Granted, I also lost a lot of people who were really unhealthy for me as well, but I also let a few good ones slip out the cracks. I created mistrust in people. I was a loose canon. When I finally realized what I was doing, it was too late for most people — they were long gone. But over the years, I’ve worked hard to mend relationships and to make a better self-image.
I really like the person I’ve become. But that doesn’t mean people magically like me again.