By Tara Blair Ball: For More Info, Go Here…
Don’t think “it’s not that bad,” because science proves it is.
I was looking at my plate, knowing this configuration would taste terrible and wishing I hadn’t gone with so much fruit, when my ex-husband said something shitty to me.
He often said shitty things to me that would register more in my body than in my mind. I could rarely recall exact things he’d say to me. I do remember though what happened in my body, what the husband of the couple called “crumpling:” my shoulders, which had been keeping my back in proper posture, slumped and my whole body caved inward, like I was trying to move into the fetal position, like I was trying to protect myself.
My ex-husband never punched me or kicked me or smacked me. He broke things in front of me. He threw things. He punched walls, once above our daughter’s crib immediately after setting her in it. He once refused to let me leave, blocking exits and entrances, shoving doors open I was trying to close. He once pushed me out of a chair. He once threw something at my stomach where I carried our child hard enough to feel like I’d been punched.
Verbal abuse, which I dealt with far more than anything physical, was annihilating. It was so easily justified or rationalized away since he wasn’t hitting me. “He only called me a bitch because I’d forgotten to turn the alarm off.” “He only yelled at me because he’s been so stressed out at work. It’ll get better when things are less stressful.”
It was easy for me to believe that the verbal abuse I was receiving was because something was wrong with me, NOT the other person.
